Confidence v Rejection: The never-ending Battle
Written by Emma Burbidge Posted in Mental Illness, General Advice, Careers
Confidence is tricky; particularly when other people are doing you down, you have low self-esteem or haven’t formed a very high opinion of yourself.
I never had enough confidence as a child, and this bred a shy girl, always hidden within a shell to protect myself from the criticism and opinions of others, wilting in the shadow of social and parental expectation. If your experiences are similar to mine, then I would like to tell you about the wonder that just having confidence can bring.
It took the experience of university, the individuality that this brings and the opportunity to meet people very different from the sort of people you get stuck with at school, to break free from this shell and emerge with a personality that was my own and not dictated by other people. I became a self-confident person with the ability to be happy. I learned to be unafraid of what lay around the corner.
But every now and then, when I face rejection or have doubt, my childhood self takes over and I have to battle to bring my post-uni self, the part of me that is confident, back again. This is like a never-ending battle between confidence and rejection, the new me and old me, in constant battle for the takeover of my soul.
Confidence is tricky
Confidence is important because if you don’t believe you can succeed, then you won’t succeed. This applies to everything in your life, but especially job interviews.
If you go into a job interview appearing shy and aloof, uncertain of what you can bring an employer, then you are not going to get hired. However, if you are exuberant, lively, confident and outgoing, your personality will shine through and you can convince the interviewer that you are someone worth hiring.
The key to success is to make your confidence shine through and channel rejection into positive energy.
Even when you hit a thousand rejections you need to stay calm and collected, this is what I have learned.
If you are unsure about what your value is as a person, ask your friends and family members what qualities you have. Your friends must have a reason why they are friends with you otherwise they wouldn’t be!
Following this advice should make it easier when you keep hitting brick walls as you now have a way to smash your way through them. Rejection can only make you stronger as a person if you learn to respond to it in the right way. You need to be unafraid of rejection.
You can’t give up, you just have to pick yourself up after the rejection and keep plugging away.
Perhaps it is also time to examine why you get rejected. Lack of confidence is a key issue and it is true that if you don’t believe in yourself then you make it harder for yourself and it is much less likely that you will succeed.
Rejection only makes you stronger, and success is the perfect revenge.
Remembering this will bring you success and happiness, help you to have confidence in everything you do and combat rejection. If you have to face rejection and setbacks, if you have to work harder to achieve what you want to achieve, then success is much sweeter. There is a lot of satisfaction in being able to say ‘I’ve made it’ when you have had a bit of a struggle to reach that place.
If you are struggling with confidence, you need to dive into the deep end, conquer your fears, climb that metaphorical mountain - whatever it takes to fight doubt and self-loathing to the ground.
Start believing in yourself and confidence will win the battle for your soul.