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03May

Am I ready for this?

Written by Emma Burbidge Posted in Sex and Relationships

Am I ready for this?

Your boyfriend/girlfriend might seem like the most important person in the world and you might think that you are ready and know each other well enough to devote your entire life to them or bringing up a family. The reality is that these life decisions need to be considered rationally, not just emotionally.

Some girls find themselves so in love that they need to ‘keep’ their guy by getting pregnant. Their idea is that when they break the news their boyfriend will sweep them off their feet, propose and they will get married and live happily ever after.

This rosy view of love is so often not the case that the boy and girl end up either in a relationship built on mistrust and resentment, rather than love, and staying together for the sake of the child, or breaking up anyway, leaving the girl with a child to support on their own.

Girls who act in this way are often immature and insecure about their relationship. They act on this insecurity and their fear of losing the one they love.

You might think this behaviour is ok because your partner will be able to support you both or you can live on child support but is this really something you want for you and your child, and is this fair on the child’s father?

You need to think about what you are doing, and how this will affect your life, your boyfriend’s life and inevitably your child’s life.

However, like with many things in life, sex is a 2 way street and lads need to be prepared to take responsibility if you have unprotected sex with a girl.

If you are considering having a child then you need to think:

  • You are bringing a child into the world. Are you and your partner ready?
  • How will you financially support the child? Is it fair on your partner/the state to bear the burden?
  • If you are deceiving your boyfriend by stopping taking your contraception pills in order to deliberately get pregnant then you are making women less trustworthy
  • Don’t be selfish. There are women out there who don’t have boyfriends, and your behaviour will make it harder for them to find ‘Mr Right’
  • If you have to trap a man, he isn’t yours anyway.

You might feel like you want to stay with him for the rest of your life, ladies, but getting pregnant is not the answer. It will change both your lives forever and later you may come to realise that you both want different things or have different goals. It can also lead to regret in the future that you didn’t finish school or go to college because you chose to start a family instead.

Having children and getting married is a HUGE life changing event which there is plenty of time in your 20s and 30s for. There is no rush, especially when you are 16 and 17, and still a child yourself.

If you really love each other, and he really is the ‘one’, then there is no harm in waiting a while to have kids, until you both have a job or have finished school; that way you will be able to be together without any regrets later in life.

If he is not the ‘one’, you have a bit of time to realise it without damaging your future opportunities.

There is plenty of time for marriage and kids, however getting qualifications or training for a career can only be put off for so long.

About the Author

Emma Burbidge

Emma Burbidge

Emma Burbidge is the marketing assistant at TCHC. She helps to manage the website and promote the Youth Contract. She enjoys writing for the blog and sharing advice and tips with young people on a range of topics, from finding a job to battling with depression.

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